Decluttering My Mind

During the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to simplify my life and my emotions.   I still have a long way to go however; I have had some interesting one-on-one conversations with myself.   Thank God, I am by myself during a large part of the day otherwise; I would make quite a comic character with various expressions darting across my face at random intervals.   Thus far, these conversations have revealed the need to declutter my mind.

This seems to be quite a B2B exercise.   No, not the usual business to business, but the back to basics.   Here are my findings so far.

Attendance- Remember the morning attendance in elementary school.   Amidst the flying paper balls, squeaking chalks, chairs scratching the floor and cough attacks; we made sure the teacher heard our ‘Present Mam, Yes Mam, Here Sir’.   Not being present meant having to get a note from parents the next day- and who on earth would want to explain that to parents! Well, I think, I forgot this attendance lesson once out of school.   I need to learn to ‘be present’ in ‘now’.   I need to get out of the habit of being absent- bunking the present to take a hike into the past or the future.   Now is what is central!

Attention- I can still hear the shrill cracking voice of my Maths teacher, repeatedly repeating, “Girls, complete attention, focus, concentrate.  ” Later on, the corporate world taught me the significance of multi-tasking and I took pride in my multi-mindedness.   Single-mindedness was deemed so regressive.   Well, the unlearning needs to surface again.   I have to unlearn the alleged asset of the corporate sector, and go back to the childhood basics.   One action at a time, one thought at a time, one goal at a time.   It works wonders to declutter the mind and create space for the important.

Lists- Any childhood memories of taking a crisp white sheet of paper, undoing the lid of a pen with flourish and then writing a to-do list with complete deliberation? Next, holding the sheet aloft and admiring it- polish school shoes, sharpen pencils, fill ink in pens, set school backpack, go out and play.   These lists fed my narcissism- I felt important since I had so much to do! Now, I realize such lists will be my savior.   I need to write these lists (to shop, to read, to watch, to do with children), banish them from my mind and address the issues only when it is their time (at the store, library, movie rental place, free time with children).   Otherwise these never ending to-do interruptions continue to pop as Jack-in-the-boxes in my mind and interrupt my attempts at single-mindedness.

Will keep adding, suggestions welcome.