Death- What does it rob one of?

I found out yesterday morning that a dear friend had lost her husband in a road accident.   She herself was in the hospital recuperating from extensive knee and plastic surgery.   The only grace of the episode being that their seven year old son suffered just a minor fracture.   It took me a while to sort my thoughts- immense sadness for my friend, anger at the traffic in Bangalore, shock at how life can change in an instant, anxiety about her future and a void in trying to figure out what to say to her, how do I tell her to be strong and how can I be there for her while she grieves.  

I called her on the phone to sense whether she was up to meeting people or wanted to be left alone.   After an awkward moment of silence, she said, “I’ve lost my best friend. ”   She choked on her words, repeated them thrice and started sobbing silently.   The agony in her voice did not show any resentment at the unfair hand she had been dealt with, any indulgence in self pity or any fretfulness about the future.   It was a stark statement about what she no longer had.   It had a chill that could engulf the warmth of an entire planet and yet feel cold.   “A best friend, I don’t have one any more.”   Her child like simplicity carried within it the wisdom of being able to pinpoint the very essence of her loss.  

I was reminded of an email where another friend of mine had written, “Old friends are indeed like old wine, intoxicating to the core.”   I thought of my bereaved friend’s loss.   She had lost not just an old friend but her best friend.   She had lost that what intoxicated her in life or rather, what intoxicated her towards life.   What else was there for her to say, she had summed it up so poignantly.