Soul mate, wherefore art thou?
A beautiful yellow butterfly shared the air space with us for a couple of minutes while our taxi was en route from Dehradun to Delhi. Then I noticed another butterfly, brown in color, flying in tandem right under the yellow butterfly. They soared, dipped, and inched to the sides as a graceful ice skating team dancing in perfect harmony. “Ah! Soul mates”, I sighed to myself with longing.
This was the beginning to a seemingly long thought process. Is finding a soul mate a romantic fallacy, a quixotic belief such as ‘love at first sight’ or is it a truth that is meant to be, a jigsaw puzzle where that single piece with the perfect fit does exist. Is it a destination or a journey? Is the connection based upon spirituality, emotional fulfillment, physical attraction, common goals, magnetism drawing opposites together, thinking alike or having been together for so long that life seems incomplete without each other?
Strolling down the meandering path of memories, I could not pinpoint one single person who has understood me at all times, with whom I have always felt complete, who accepts all of me, all the time- just the way I am, or who has the ability to perpetually bring out the best in me. It was quite a dispiriting thought; having covered half or more of my lifetime and still no sign of the perfect jigsaw piece.
I decided to plunge deeper into the thicket of thoughts and reminiscences. I remembered the times when a friend was there to listen to me without being judgmental. And the times my husband helped unravel difficult situations for me, his efforts to bring me happiness. The emotional fulfillment my children bestow upon me, especially the times when I held them as tiny bundles, secure in my arms. My confidence that my parents love me just the way I am. My sister’s willingness to be a perfect friend and sister rolled into one, whenever I need her. The thoughts I could share with my brother knowing that they would always be secure with him. The spiritual connection I felt while sitting on the porch swing and eyeing the immense greenery in our yard.
So yes, I have not found the “one” soul mate I may be destined for. But then, perhaps this search is not a destination; it is a journey with several milestones on the way. My soul mates complete different parts at different points in my life. Yet, the nagging thought stayed forefront, “What about the times when the whole still has a hole?” What then? Am I destined to be incomplete, with holes?
Pensively I looked out the window at the butterflies and realized that the brown butterfly flying in synchrony with the yellow one was nothing, but its shadow. It dawned upon me that the only way to fill all the holes and find my perpetual soul mate was to look into a mirror. This search must end within my own self. There are jigsaw pieces that will fit at various places in my life, but I must become the piece that will complete the puzzle.
Does that sound right, or is this just another case of “sour grapes”?
This was the beginning to a seemingly long thought process. Is finding a soul mate a romantic fallacy, a quixotic belief such as ‘love at first sight’ or is it a truth that is meant to be, a jigsaw puzzle where that single piece with the perfect fit does exist. Is it a destination or a journey? Is the connection based upon spirituality, emotional fulfillment, physical attraction, common goals, magnetism drawing opposites together, thinking alike or having been together for so long that life seems incomplete without each other?
Strolling down the meandering path of memories, I could not pinpoint one single person who has understood me at all times, with whom I have always felt complete, who accepts all of me, all the time- just the way I am, or who has the ability to perpetually bring out the best in me. It was quite a dispiriting thought; having covered half or more of my lifetime and still no sign of the perfect jigsaw piece.
I decided to plunge deeper into the thicket of thoughts and reminiscences. I remembered the times when a friend was there to listen to me without being judgmental. And the times my husband helped unravel difficult situations for me, his efforts to bring me happiness. The emotional fulfillment my children bestow upon me, especially the times when I held them as tiny bundles, secure in my arms. My confidence that my parents love me just the way I am. My sister’s willingness to be a perfect friend and sister rolled into one, whenever I need her. The thoughts I could share with my brother knowing that they would always be secure with him. The spiritual connection I felt while sitting on the porch swing and eyeing the immense greenery in our yard.
So yes, I have not found the “one” soul mate I may be destined for. But then, perhaps this search is not a destination; it is a journey with several milestones on the way. My soul mates complete different parts at different points in my life. Yet, the nagging thought stayed forefront, “What about the times when the whole still has a hole?” What then? Am I destined to be incomplete, with holes?
Pensively I looked out the window at the butterflies and realized that the brown butterfly flying in synchrony with the yellow one was nothing, but its shadow. It dawned upon me that the only way to fill all the holes and find my perpetual soul mate was to look into a mirror. This search must end within my own self. There are jigsaw pieces that will fit at various places in my life, but I must become the piece that will complete the puzzle.
Does that sound right, or is this just another case of “sour grapes”?
posted by Anu at
7:07 PM
7 Comments:
Amazingly expressed... What an honoring to experience the teachings of a butterfly. Thanks for sharing your wisdom Anu.
Dearest Anu,
What a lovely story. You are a very good writer! I love your imagery!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey to find your True Soul Mate in which it did in fact reach its perfect destination.
I agree with your discovery that only you can be your own Best Friend in that no one else is you or can be all things you want and need and if they could or did, then they would not be able to be themselves to themselves. In fact, being our own Soul Mate / Best Friend is how we continue to grow as a person and evolve toward being the best person we can be, an to fulfill our destinies.
Along the way, we develop an awareness of the interdependence of our existence and the existence of the earth and the heavens and our own environment and how it is all one and the same.
I think looking outside of ourselves for solutions and answers to our unique questions is a learned behavior. We learned in school that we can find whatever we need to know by looking it up in a book, like we are a term paper or science project.
What we have to rediscover during our Journey of Life is that we have anything and everything we could possibly need and the ability to use it within ourselves all along. What we need to redevelop is our ability to trust ourselves to access those skills and resources and to trust ourselves to use them properly.
It is this miracle of our vast inner resources that causes man to believe in a God and to develop religions to explain this unexplainable miracle.
All along the way, we need to just do the best we can at that time under those circumstances with what we have to deal with. Then to do even better the next time. Such is our Journey of Life.
Being able to share our discoveries, like on your blog, enables us to continue to travel along the road of our journeys and to support others on theirs. That is how we can symbolize being a Soul Mate to ourselves and to each other simultaneously.
Happy Journeying and Journaling!
Linda
Linda,
I love your explanation of the process of eventually finding ones own self. Or as in my case . . . attempting to find my own self!
Take care,
Anu
I honestly need to start lokoing in the mirror much more. Easier said than done!
Thanks Anu, it helps to know that others have holes in their whole as well.
L
A soulful posting.
Some of us are lucky enough to find soul mates at some point in life. So no, I don't think this is a quixotic notion.
The only thing is that the journey together might not last a life time. We all change over time and that's what makes the journey's together end.
Enjoy the soul mate while you have one, don't worry about the life time.
Brenda
Dear Anu,
Excellent thought process. You may find the answers within - meditate!
God bless you always.
papa
indeed beautiful thoughts.infact this is a thought process one which proves that true gyan or enlightenment lies deep within us only .the need is to find time to search and listen to our inner voice.our soul or atma is part of the ultimate paramatma,so in a way all human beings are our soulmates.we may not realise this always.ofcourse one life is just enough to interact with a few ones.
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